The Power of Love and How I Made a Homeless Man Cry

last week, I made a homeless man cry…

I was about to meet some friends at an open mic after work when I pulled up to a stop light. At the median, a homeless man was clearly in an angry, agitated state, aggressively yelling and swinging his fists at an unknown entity. Next, he approaches my car, and comes right up to the glass at my driver’s side window. Intimidation much?

But what happened next is not what you or I ever would have expected.

What happened next I can only explain as a demonstration of the power of love.

Let’s rewind for a moment. 

Previous to getting into my car and pulling up to this particular stop light,

I am locking up and clocking out of my shift at the cacao lounge where it is my role twice per week to hold the space, be a light to the community, and serve ceremonial cacao.

During my shift, I am drinking ceremonial grade cacao, which is known to activate and open the heart. When I drink ceremonial cacao, my heart is blasted open and all guardedness falls away. I often speak about how I don’t really consume drugs or alcohol because I already am so open, so sensitive. I already see colors and geometric shapes when I am not under the influence. After-all, I’ve been seeing auras and practicing energy healing since I was four years old. In my twenties, when I finally got formal training, I realized that I was learning the same techniques I’d been practicing unknowingly in elementary school.

At eight years old I made a pact with God (see me after for a more detailed description of what I mean by God). And I never once forgot that pact. My life is in service to healing and to light work, and to do this I keep my vessel clear.

In elementary school, I remember, playing soccer, and I could see and feel the congested/dirty energy in the players and in the crowd watching. The difference between me now and me then is that I didn’t understand how to have boundaries around this stuff back then. I would clear the dirty energy, but it would get stuck on me. And while yes, I was aware of the crystalline energy that I could bring down from above, which I could then circulate down through the crown of my head, filling the taurus field of my energy body, and then completing the circle through connecting the tongue to the pallet of my mouth ( in case you were wondering how it’s done), I was lacking any guidance or mentorship and didn’t really know how to fully and safely clear myself.

Over the years, I got congested. I had so much anger, resentment, and inflammation in my body.

This looked like severe chronic eczema. This looked like severe anxiety. At one point, the eczema was so bad, the lids of my eyes were flaky and purple and I had crocodile skin for a neck.

And while I know that processing my emotions, getting good sleep, and using herbal supplements to support my liver etc, were helpful, I believe the most powerful tool I used was that of loving kindness. Let me explain.

I remember when I first learned the “twin hearts meditation,” which is essentially a meditation where the mediator practices channeling love, kindness, harmony, and forgiveness.

The meditation starts with, “think of a happy event.” The first time I tried, I could not think of one.

It continues, “feel the love. Feel the kindness.” I could not.

That first time I tried this meditation, I got so flushed and hot and angry that I had to stop and go outside.

I practiced this meditation every single day, twice a day, for the next year, and just about every day for the next four years.

So when the past finally catches up to the day I made the homeless man cry, when we fast forward and cut to me in the cacao lounge, drinking ceremonial grade cacao, closing up shop, getting into my car, and pulling up to that particular stop light at that particular moment … I was years in to the practice of love. My heart was wide open.

“Hey!” he said, angrily.

And I turned my head to look at him straight in the eyes.

What happened next you would never expect.

“I’m sorry,” he said next. “Some men, some men, sometimes men can be so stupid, “ he fumbled for words. He had to pause and catch his breath. I said nothing, only looked at him. I didn’t move my gaze from his eyes.

“Sometimes we men can just be dumb. I’m so sorry,” and he started to get teary.

“You, you are so beautiful. You deserve so much love.” He wasn’t speaking to me, per-say, he was speaking to all women, to the arch-typical woman, to some specific woman from his past, and even to the Goddess within his own heart.

And then he just started to cry. “Can you feel my emotions?” he asked me through the window?

I nodded, but didn’t say a word. “You’re making me cry!” and he did. “You are so beautiful and you are making me cry. You deserve to be loved. You are so beautiful. Thank you. Thank you.”

Then the light turned green, he turned around, and I drove away.

We all have super powers.

Among other things, my super power is to see you fully and to transmit love, acceptance, and forgiveness to the places that are hiding inside you, in the shadows, waiting for you to love them into the light.